Monday, January 26, 2009


I went to my last therapist session today. At least I think it’s my last. I guess it’s more accurate to say I didn’t schedule another appointment. After three years of Christian counsel my wise advocate said that I’d reached a point where it wasn’t necessary for me to return… and I agreed. That isn’t to say I don’t think I couldn’t benefit from therapy for the rest of my earthly life! Rather, I’m at a healthy place where I’m no longer susceptible to anxiety. Or maybe it’s better to say, I know how to handle it now. I am truly grateful for her counsel, patience, care and prayers. I’m also grateful for her experience, education and faith. God blessed me through her and I highly recommend counseling for anyone struggling with anything.

Some of the things I am now able to do that convinced her I was able to balance on my own is my ability to say “no”, to adapt when plans are changed, to change the plans myself, and not to fear the reaction of anyone whose expectations I did not meet, especially if they were unrealistic or even damaging expectations.

Since we just hosted Christmas we got to talk about the hosting duties (it was our turn) and how that went. I’ve always been more Mary than Martha when it comes to hosting a party and I mean that in both the biblical sense and the Martha Stewart one. You will not find me slaving away all night in the kitchen and making everything extraordinary ahead of time (or on-time for that matter). I’m much more interested in who is coming and what we’ll talk about. So I’m the one at Jesus’ feet, but that could partly be due to how much I abhor the alternative. Nothing in the kitchen calls to me. I can’t say that my husband feels exactly the same way. I’m not painting him as a Martha, but he cares a little more about the details when it comes to decoration and cleanliness than I do and so sometimes I find myself in the position of needing to care a little more myself so as not to increase his anxiety.

I thought a lot today about what a huge difference it makes if you have the ability to adapt or not. A lot of things can go wrong when planning a party and I started thinking - Can you adjust to a bigger or smaller guest list? Can you change the date last minute? Is there ever a “Plan B’ – just in case someone gets horribly sick or something? And if there isn’t a Plan B, can you punt successfully? Between the punting and meditating on the lack of a Plan B, I immediately thought of Kyle Orton. The Bears still had a chance to make the playoffs if they won Sunday against the Texans AND if the Vikings lost or TWO other teams lost (including the Bucs – which wasn’t likely) for the wild card. Miraculously, both of those teams did end up losing. And yet, the Bears’ season was over because Kyle Orton does not have, nor can he adapt to, a Plan B. His QB style is more the “stare-at-the-receiver-you’re-going-to-throw-to-for-five-seconds-before-throwing” approach. This of course, tips off all the professional defensive players on the other team and usually ends in an incomplete pass or worse, an intercepted pass. This doesn’t seem to discourage Kyle from his course of action, nor does he hesitate and look for other options in the thick of it. And when I thought about this, I thought, what a clear example of the limitations of focusing on one thing and one thing only. Can it ever be a good idea to be so focused on anything that you can’t see anything else?

Well….yes, but there is really only one example…Jesus. Eyes fixed on Jesus and only Jesus and never moving off of Jesus is not only a good idea, but the only possible way to not fail.

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