D.A.R.E. to be Different

It's time to put my daughter Maggie in the spotlight.

We have three kids. Ironically, it's not the twins that are very much alike, or even the two girls, but Caitlin and Ryan who seem to be cut, if not of the same mold, at least near the same kiln. I often remember writing down little notes in their early years of how Caitlin and Ryan did one thing, and Maggie did quite another. I was going to write a book titled "...And Then There's Maggie."

I'm still considering it. She gave me quite a lot of documented material.

See, Maggie is this interesting dichotomy of enormous talent and complete indifference. She has more natural athletic ability than the other four of us put together.

And absolutely no ambition.

Her "love language" is Quality Time. She has little interest in electronic gadgets, much preferring board games played with other living, breathing human beings. She's social, but not in the way of joining everything, pursuing popular programs or even having a wide group of friends.

Maggie likes one-on-one. And she doesn't easily tire of it. So when she finds something she's interested in, we get a little excited around here. Because as much as she likes the social interaction, she usually won't join anything that requires too much of her.

We haven't pushed her into sports or academics or park district courses. We're happy to save the money - and truth be told - the time and gas required to shlep another child to another destination on any given weekday/end. We've been content to have her participate in Girl Scouts which only meets about once a month after school. But something peaked Maggie's interest at school recently and the result was kind of amazing.

Maggie got totally into the D.A.R.E. program. You know the program...Officer Friendly on steroids. DRUG ABUSE RESISTANCE EDUCATION. DARE to say NO to drugs.

Maggie was all in.

She not only participated actively at school, she attended CSI-like presentations at the library and applied herself like superglue.

For her efforts she was recognized as one of two kids in the entire 6th grade (about 100 kids) as "DARE Student of the Year." There was a ceremony, a customized plaque, photos with the Chief of Police and more. We were so proud we totally let her blow off her small group at church to attend the award celebration.

At a time when kids are exposed to more dangerous vices at earlier ages in a culture that is increasingly tolerant of it, I am thrilled that the activity that finally warranted my daughters efforts and commitment was one that teaches her to go against the grain.

That's pretty much what the Christian life consists of in 21st century America. Going. Against. The. Grain.

It used to be when I came home as a kid and asked my mom to do something (or got caught doing something I shouldn't have been doing) and pleaded that "everyone else was doing it" that possibly two or three kids I knew were doing it. Now when my kids come home and talk about non-stop texting, or whatever the new must-have/must-see/must-do thing is and tell me "everyone else is doing it," literally, everyone else is doing it.

Makes me really grateful Maggie was honored for not doing something too many other kids are.

Whirlwind Weekend

This weekend wasn't non-stop activity but the activity was chock-full.

Friday night I went to a "Fall Fellowship" of over 30 women who will all be attending our church's newest campus in Itasca. We spent some time getting to know each other, eating (lots of eating), learning about women's ministry and praying for the campus. It was emotional for me because I was involved in the process of this location becoming another site of our church from the beginning. It was a very eclectic group of women ranging in age from 22 to 96! I stopped complaining about being tired after working all day and going out again past 9:00 pm when the 96 year old was making her way from room to room in her immaculate skirt and holding hands in circles of prayer to lift up the ministries of the church. I am ridiculously out of shape.

Saturday morning Ryan's football team played for the Championship in their division. I thought I might not make it there because my back was half out and I could barely drive to the field.

Best youth football game I've ever seen in my life.

Both teams played their hearts out and it could have gone either way. I actually experienced some of the devastation the other team must have felt coming so close while at the same time, being elated for my son, his dad (Dan is an assistant coach) and all these kids I've gotten to watch play all season. I think it was Ryan's first real taste of competition on a higher level. He made a great catch on 4th down with a defender all over him and I couldn't help but be proud. The celebration was immediate - it rivaled an NFL division win in enthusiasm. They drank heartily from bottles of sparkling grape juice (when they weren't dumping them over each other's heads). I asked Ryan to pass me his trophy so I could get a better look at it while we were in the car on the way home but he couldn't do it.

It was strapped into the seat with him.

One of the families on the team hosted a celebration party afterward that I am still hearing about. Cait and I stayed home for homework/backache reasons respectively, but the family was well represented by Maggie from what I hear.

Sunday morning was the "internal launch" of the Itasca Campus for church. The former congregation had dwindled down to about 30 people prior to joining The Orchard. There were well over 200 people there Sunday morning. It was such a gift to be part of a community of believers who had worked hard, prayed hard and put aside personal preferences for the greater good of reaching more people for Christ in this really special place.

Everything went fairly smoothly and I doubt most people were aware of what didn't go according to plan. Although most things went completely awry for the ministry I head up it ended up being okay. In fact, it was better than okay and I was blessed by the people who showed up and participated in it.

I was so thankful to have the extra hour of sleep - and the rest of Sunday afternoon to lay on the couch and watch the Bears win - added bonus! But I still feel like life is moving at a pace I will never adjust to.

So I'm working on not adjusting to it.

There's a verse from the Bible that keeps popping up in all my reading. Matthew 11:28, "Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."

It's my slow-down-even-if-no-one-else-is free card. Way better than getting out of jail in Monopoly.

A Blow to the Head

The cover story of the Chicago Tribune today was titled "Friday Night Lights' Risk: 1800 hits to the head."

Mom Eder, if you're reading this - stop now. You don't want to know.

Recent studies have found hidden brain injuries in young football players who have been sacked/tackled repeatedly with hits to the head.

Kind of like Jay Cutler last Sunday night. The Giants set a new NFL record by sacking our Bears QB NINE TIMES in the first HALF. Cutler left the game after the last sack at the end of the half. That was the hit that we all thought caused his concussion. Turns out the concussion came much earlier in the game and that's what impaired his play to the extent that he was sacked an additional six or so times. Not that the offensive line provided any assistance.

Somehow this information was both comforting and disturbing. Comforting in that Cutler isn't a hack who can't throw the ball to save his life. Disturbing in that he was impaired to a degree that he couldn't find receivers visually let alone with the ball.

Disturbing because these injuries can have long-term repercussions - no win is worth sacrificing a player's future congnitive abilities.

Disturbing because it went undetected, the guy was put back out on the field, and we allowed him to get reinjured exponentially with greater enthusiasm from the opposing teams defense (since their offense was doing as little as ours to put points on the board).

Disturbing because I have a son who plays football.

I'm grateful that Dan is an assistant coach who is making sure they are learning proper safety procedures for tackling. But I'll tell you this stuff makes me run to God with prayers for protection.

I can handle the bruises all up and down his arms and the way he walks up the stairs like an 80 year old man after a game, but head injuries are deal breakers for continued play.

So if you have a kid in football (and you should know I consider college age "kids") - watch them carefully and be an advocate for conservative measures with those hard hits, would ya?

And pray.

But Wait! There's more....

So you read about my AT&T Uverse woes with the phone a couple of days ago. Turns out the Bears win on cable isn't a wash with the lack of phone reception after all.

I am now in my eleventh day of "new, improved digital phone service" except my phone continues to buzz loudly anywhere between 2 and 14 minutes into a call depending on it's mood. I finally got through on the automated system on Monday to schedule a service call to fix it (took three tries and LOTS of waiting) but on the bright side they all had real time evidence of my problem while they were recording the converation for "quality assurance."

The first time they could dispatch someone when I was home was allegedly last night between 4-8. I left work early to be home by 4. Of course, they never showed, but did call Dan's cell around 8 to say they were "running late." At nine pm they were still trying to dispatch someone. I told them not to send a technician to my home after 9 pm on a school night and we rescheduled for the next day. I insisted they come between 5-7 and they absolutely refused to commit to anything but a 4 hour window because they said it was what they needed. I reminded them they really needed a six hour window since it was now 9:30 pm and they hadn't shown up yet for that day's 4 hour window.

So their four hour blocks required a 4-8 pm for today. We told them I couldn't be home until 5 so to change it to 5-8. Again, the four hour window speech. So they made a note not to show up before 5 on the ticket and gave us 5-9.

So it was kind of funny when Dan got a call at 9 am from a technician in front of our house wanting to be let in to fix the phone. Dan let him know no one would be home before 5 pm. He got another call two hours later.

Same deal. Same response.

Another hour later...he got another call. He asked them why they kept showing up when the order clearly read 4-8 (but apparently didn't include the promised note of "don't show up before 5"). They said when they miss appointments the day before we go to the top of the order. Dan told them that's great, except as we've stated five times, we won't be home before five.

An hour later another technician calls.

So when I pull up at 4 pm in front of my house and see a service truck parked there I am overjoyed. Except the guy tells me he just spoke with my husband who told him I wouldn't be home before 5 and so now he's been dispatched to another home and has to leave. I tell him "no way" I'm home now and the whole saga.

He is not moved with compassion.

I make him stay for 10 minutes listening to our sob story, but he still leaves assuring me someone will be here between 5-8. Right. Because that's what the ticket says and it worked so well last night.

I ask him for a phone number for a manager/supervisor. "Sorry ma'am I don't have any phone numbers." There aren't any emails on their website either. Nor is there any contact information at all except for the automated system that has an average wait time of 10 minutes for a live human being. Remember...this is a phone company.

But there's lots of stuff that says "Dear valued customer."

It's 6 pm and no one else has showed up yet even though four of them were here today because I was at the top of the pecking order even though my ticket said 4-8 pm.

I just opened my mail and there was a letter from AT&T Uverse trying to sell me the bundled package I just bought for $12 less a month than I just bought it for.

I prayed so I wouldn't strangle someone.

I also had a glass of wine.

Then Caitlin reminded me that it was a U2 Friday Feature on WXRT. So I just listened to five consecutive U2 songs while sipping some wonderful Left Foot Charley Murmur and I'm not as livid as I was an hour ago.

But I will post on my web for all to see that AT&T appears to be competing for worst customer service satisfaction in the 21st century.

Phone Troubles

About two weeks ago, shortly after the cable companies switched every last station to digital delivery requiring a box for reception of any channel over 12, a nice man and woman came to the door trying to sell us an AT&T Uverse bundle of phone, internet and cable. I'm talking real cable with over 100 channels including high def ones (for the one TV in the house that has high def capability). For us it was all about price - we desperately wanted ESPN back as football season is well underway, but we weren't going to pay more for it.

Our Comcast bill had gone from $11.75 to almost $17 a month to get nothing but local network channels and when we combined that cost with our phone/internet already set up with AT&T it was only $6 less then what they were offering.

We decided football is worth the extra $6 a month. Plus they promised us faster internet (it's not) and better quality phone service on the new fiber optic spliced wires. Yeah. About that....

It's kind of disappointing that the phone has a buzzing sound that begins anytime between 2 and 7 minutes on every call we make with this fabulous new quality system.

It's even more disappointing that the automated phone system is like a cruel joke - with no option for a human being (until 15 minutes in you scream "GETMEAHUMANBEING" into the phone. By the way, when you select "phone" for the service you need help with, the automated voice instructs you how to buy additional channels for the cable.

It's super disappointing that you have to call three times before a technician gets dispatched (three days later when they have an opening when you are actually home).

And it's downright comical that the email confirmation for the service appointment says "do not respond to this email" and provides absolutely no links for a customer service rep to credit back all the minutes you've been using to call their service department while they explain to you how valuable your business is.

So I'm without a phone at the moment and that's really aggravating.

But the Bears beat the Packers on Monday Night Football last night and we watched the whole thing on high definition ESPN. So it's a wash. :-)

Fall Frenzy

I almost forgot I had a blog.

I've been writing a lot lately. The funny thing is I've been using a pen and paper to do it. Sooo old school.

It's been an eventful couple of months, so busy in fact, there's been little time to be on the computer (except of course for the six hours I spend on it each work day).

One of the blogs I try to read is called "22 Words" by Abraham Piper. Most of his posts are 22 words or less. In today's culture that's appealing. Who wants to read on and on? Be honest. You automatically delete those forwarded emails that require scrolling, right?

So in a nutshell...

Work/Church has been delightfully challenging. I know. That sounds like an oxymoron. We are opening two additional campuses before the end of the year, one is seven minutes from our home. In three short weeks we will begin attending Sunday worship there. Planning ministry across two additional locations with the same amount of staff is challenging. It's also delightful. Can't tell you how encouraging it is to watch people step up and how exciting it is to work on something that has the spread of the Gospel of Jesus Christ as it's goal. We also just began a new marriage study with our LIFE Group (small group) from church.

The kids are so good I feel ridiculously undeserving. Of course, I AM ridiculously undeserving. They help more around the house, have adjusted to the new school year, are learning to balance homework, football, band, academic clubs and more and are doing it all without complaining or falling behind. I see how their world becomes more and more challenging as we strive to live our lives in a manner that is so anti-culture and I cannot believe how mature they are. I am so grateful.

Our home has been through a lot in the past several months - a flood that officially changed the status of our basement from finished to UNfinished...a new roof...and a declining performance that has most of our 20 year old appliances threatening simultaneous mutiny. We keep thanking God for our new dishwasher, praying the fridge, washer, dryer, stove and microwave continue to work and wonder if we will ever be able to afford a snow blower.

Fall has FINALLY arrived with cooler temperatures and changing leaves and glorious football. We hope it lasts at least four weeks before winter arrives. The good part about winter looming is that the construction that is occuring on every single road we drive on should be over soon. We hope.

My husband is working hard, volunteering at church and serving as an assistant coach for Ryan's football team, but seems non-stressed and happy most of the time and is still the guy everyone wants to hang out with including me.

My mom had a brief hospital stay but is home and doing her very best to comply with the doctors orders that has her on three times the amount of medication she normally takes. Before you freak out, she had been on one and now she's on three. At 73 - that ain't bad.

The biggest heartbreak recently has been the loss of an aunt. My Dad's oldest sister, Tella passed away at 90 earlier this month. I've written a great deal about that on paper and eventually may post some of that onto the blog. When asked to talk about it I'm reminded of a line in "The Lord of the Rings; The Fellowship of the Ring" when they believe Gandalf has died and the elves sing a lament for his passing. The hobbits ask Legolas to interpret and he says, "I have not the heart to tell you. For me the grief is still too near."

So much more could be said about what's "going on" but you've probably already had to scroll on the page so I'll leave some thoughts for next time and try to write more often.

The Countdown Begins

It's 10:14 and I've just instructed my kids to begin reading in bed so we can do lights out in the neighborhood of 10:30 and it's occuring to me these days of long light and late bedtimes are numbered.

August is here and back-to-school sales are in full force. It seems we just celebrated the 4th of July, but the calendar doesn't lie. Ryan began football practice on Monday much to my mother-in-law's dismay. I do have to admit I'm less excited than I thought I would be as I fully realize it's MY kid out there everyone will be trying to take down. But he's pretty scrappy and I trust God to protect him. He's awfully cute in that little uniform.

Of course, when we think of football we think of snow blowing off the lake at Soldier Field, but it was 88 degrees outside at 6:00 pm with 70% humidity and there wasn't a dry spot on that kid's body when he got home. Funny how it's 45 degrees when baseball starts and 90 when football begins. Gotta love Chicago.

The hard part with this new schedule is I'm still working till 5:00 pm three days a week and Dan commutes from Romeoville (like an hour away) so the family dinner has gone by the wayside until school starts. That's when my hours change back to a 3:00 pm leave time and practice goes down to three days a week. It's an incomprehensible five nights a week right now. I guess they told me that when I signed him up six months ago, but you know how we block those things out.

I am a little shell-shocked by it all. We've intentionally limited the kids activities and really preserved family time throughout the summer and weeknights. I can only say how glad I am we did and that I cannot imagine being on a schedule like this year round.

I spent my lunch hour finding a girdle that would fit him. Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently all those big burly football players wear girdles with pads for extra protection underneath those clinging pants.

I already informed him that even with the hot days it's unlikely he will have a clean uniform every time he plays. I had a hard enough time getting his baseball outfit clean twice a week. I can't tell you how many times I pulled that thing out of the dryer fifteen minutes before practice began.

So my goal is to get a little more organized so we don't end up eating fast food for the next month (can't afford that financially or physically) - and so we can transition back to the school year schedule later this month. But, planning isn't really my strong suit - I can do it pretty well at work but I seem to get all loosey-goosey at home. So if we stay up a little later to get some quality family time in and we end up switching into school hours at the last minute like we usually do, I won't lose too much sleep over it. Well, not after the first night anyway.